rekindle the joy of life, let go other's acceptance/approval, ho'oponopono for cancers of the blood cells (leukemia or lymphoma)--part 1

The other day a series of blog posts came my way, and connecting dots, they point back to Alice.

I had noted many people talking about bone marrow donors and bone marrow transplants. And figuring it out it all pointed to a 15-year old girl from England with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. She is trying to cross off life-long ambitions in a short timeframe, and the Twitter community decided to help her achieve her "bucket list."  Alice came up again the next day, and the next.

So I decided to find out more about Alice. And, before I knew it  I'd be doing Ho'oponopono  to clear the pattern of lymphoma.

This could easily be a longer post, but it is also related to the entire series of posts here. I started this blog in August 2010, and geared it initially for  a few folks that were using Ho'oponopono to clear the Gulf Oil spill. That's somewhate yet another story, except that they both involve blood dis-eases, and blood symbolism.

Without sifting through the archives, the symbolism fundamentally points to a lack of vitality and joy.

However, lymphoma and leukemia are more specific. Let me quote from Indian medical doctor Samthan Reddy, whom is on an exploratory journey into mind-body-spirit, he writes specifically about cancers of the blood cells (like leukemia or lymphoma) below:

"Blood is also associated with life-force or vitality. When the “life-blood” flows strongly, we feel vital and joyous, full of enthusiasm and inspiration. However, when a person is afraid of life, feels unsafe, does not give expression to their ideas, becomes withdrawn and experiences a lack of joy, they may be prone to blood-related illnesses.

. . . .Leukemia is one of the most common cancers affecting children.

Louise Hay offers specific insight into the thought patterns that may lead to Lymphomas. She correlates lymphomas with a tremendous fear of not being good enough, a frantic race to prove one’s self until the blood has no substance left to support itself. The joy of life is forgotten in the race to find acceptance."

Back last October 2010, I did some ho'oponopono on non-Hodgkin's lymphoma for a friend of the family. However, in all honesty, going through a breakup the month before I was not in the best place to feel joyful.

Doing ho'oponopono is more than just running through a mantra, "I love you, please forgive me, thank you, etc." One really delves into the pattern--"yours", "theirs", "collective" (it's the same) and what's universal about the message embedded in lymphoma and pulls out the roots. There's a message there to be gleaned and heard and acknowledged, so to dismiss it and go directly to the mantra isn't effective (from my experience--I'm open to hearing other experiences). It persists if not heard.

The key message for lymphoma: "The joy of life is forgotten in the race to find acceptance."

 
Yes, that has pretty much defined my life, until about 2006. Then, I went through a period of opening up and being myself, and being goofy (I have an exuberantly delightful 5-year-old side to me) and being happy and unconventional (which comes naturally). 

I glowed. Sometimes I actually sensed an energetic "disapproving" look that I'm too happy. But at that time what others' opinions were didn't register. And in fact, it felt like other people were lighter too...  as if it were infectious.

The thing that got me to shut down again may (not 100% sure) revolve around these "gifts" that were by-products of the sense of oneness. Gifts to do with healing and other little miracles, which is why I decided to do this blog publicly, even if it's a very, very difficult blog to find on Google. (It feels better knowing people say that healing is natural ability of every one--which I also believe, but isn't mainstream either.) You are meant to find it if you have, trust me--this blog is not announced from any rooftops.

That's a long-winded way of saying I was willing to call off a magical, remarkable, unfolding life because "WHAT WOULD THEY THINK!?" Sure, some shadow material (i.e. shadow as in hidden, unmet not "evil") evitably shows up after such a shift, and this "approval" one was the doozy.

Same day as Alice arrives in my sphere, I read:

"Fitting in, as the wonderful Brene Brown so astutely points out, is not the same as being accepted for who you are – in fact, the one renders the other impossible." - Justine Musk

In Justine's post, she links to a piece by the writer Sherman Alexie. He has a young man come up to him after a reading. He is wealthy so at first Alexie isn't sure why he so readily identifies with the protagonist in his novel. (The myth that wealth means no prob.)

His father wants him to go be a soldier"like me." Son wants to be a writer. He's conflicted. Joy. Approval. Is it a choice?

"I could offer that young man nothing but my empathy and the promise of more books about teenagers rescuing themselves from the adults who seek to control and diminish him." - Why the Best Kid's Books are Written in Blood, by Sherman Alexie

It doesn't go unnoticed that Alexie titled it "written in blood."

So, Alice comes up precisely in a time where I feel last vestiges of shackles falling. I feel joy for no particular reason. I feel silly, and fantastical (as in fantasy day-dreams just pour into me) and frolicking like a wild mare seems true. But that's frowned on, right? We must be somber, serious, smart (smart folks behave). The amount of energy (enthusiasm) running through me is astounding. And then I remember the voices around, "Don't you know everything sucks! Wipe that smile off your face."

I think that's the message that many 11-year-olds get (Alice has been sick for four years) as they are "growing up."---"Be more serious you're not a child anymore. Be ____ (whatever you are not). Listen up and obey....don't you want our love?"

Conditioned love will make anyone sick. Seeking conditioned love too.

Alice has been sick for four years. I have been sick for four years (the shadow stuff came strong in fall 2007). Not sick physically--I learned how to read symptoms and messages before they get out way of hand; practice Ho'oponopono since 2003--no, I mean I was sick pyschically for four years. Hiding the light under the bushel, I believe that's the adage.

Anyway, there is no choice. It's the whole planet, dare I say, whole cosmos' health at stake. There is no need to bend to sate any conditioned love (I'll like you if___). Being joyful is being love itself.

Part 2 forthcoming. (This is a big topic.) If you want to delve deeper, I also recommend reading the chapter in Women Who Run With the Wolves, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, on self-preservation (she shares the story of the girl with the red shoes). Pinkola Estes expands on the fairy tale of The Red Shoes and its themes in an audio rendering produced by Sounds True.

ART CREDITS: "a little Amelie" (girl with red shoes) photo via creative commons licensing by Lubs Mary; 2nd photo by Wet Behind the Ears

Comments

[LloydDavis]

another example of lymphoma turned up in my stream: http://techpresident.com/blog-entry/jim-gilliam-explains-internet-my-religion

I hear a series of desperate races for acceptance in his story, no wonder he felt he "ran out of breath"

[Anna]

Please direct me to Part Two... this is exactly how I feel and what I needed today! Thank you :)

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