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Dec 26, 2008



Deep truth in this post; I'm letting it soak in.


j o e l y

AliveandCrazy :)

I desperately need more crazy people in my life. I desperately need to be this crazy person that guides myself.


thank you Eva, just what I needed to hear tonight...Today I went to see the Leonardo exhibition here in San Jose, wild and crazy man he was. I too need more of the so called far out and into the future crazy creative people in my life....... open up gurlfriend.


I loved this post Eva! I could relate to much of it.

I couldn't help thinking about friends asking me when I was going to write another poem as if I could crank them out on demand.

The truth is the poems write me.... and just when I think that it is totally spontaneous process, I get the framework for a poem and purposely set it aside. Then later I decide to finish it, and it ends up so much more than I originally wrote.

So, really which is it? Do I make the effort or does it write me when I get "hot". Some of both I suspect and the conditions aren't always perfect as your stories above reflect, and still it gets written and some people really like them.

So all attempts to describe the process pretty much fail. Life is bigger than the words I use to describe it which is one reason I like poetry.

So what's the problem? Well it's that voice in the head providing the color commentary about the whole process and getting lost in the drama of unprocessed emotions and trying to put a mental lid on how all this works. As you write in an earlier post...

"We are afraid that if we sit still with the emotions - the grief, the anguish, the pain, the sorrow, the emptiness - then we will be totally consumed by waves upon waves of emotion"

I sure do appreciate that because it feels a lot like going insane... except nothing is actually happening except a voice chattering away in the head from one not so friendly point of view. Worse yet, not the only possible point of view, and it is trying darn hard to be believed like the Used Car Salesman in a checkered coat.

So, I supposed I could make this about what makes me feel great and structure my outer world according to that vision; however, something seems to be telling me I will be much more satisfied facing the inner music and passing through the apparent insanity first. After all, I might as well get intimate with what is trying to run the show.

There comes a time when all the quotes, references, stories, and good spiritual advice\practices has got to go and it is time to roll up the sleeves look the tiger in the mouth, stick the head in, and be willing to find out what happens. Time to stop looking at the pointing finger, and walk in the direction pointed to.

I am guessing it is nothing like what I thought... if you get my meaning. :o)

Let's Meet On The Other Side and have a good laugh! My apologies for the length of my reply, but his post moved me.

Michael Pokocky

Long time since I read a post here. I found you through Twitter, which I don't use, but it is weird how things unfold everyday.

You got to be so f-----wild, crazy, curious, profound, fearless and fearful, stupendous, ridiculous, forward, kind, reserved, then wild again and so on...!

The bottom line is simple: Believe or not Believe I don't care; but Begin Again and Again and Again.

bonus 1. Stop analyzing. Start now and drop off the social interaction thing and ask yourself,"What is it that you really want?" Don't tell anyone. Align your life to what you find out period. Write your own quotes and live by what you hear. Stop reading for awhile and write a journal. Its all about you at the end of the day. You are not happy. I see you Eve and I respect you enough to tell you all this. I don't give advice. I just kick people in the a-s and shake their beliefs and stir up their emotional core and reach down into their throats and pull out their heart, beating in my hand and hand it back to them and tell them,"Look this is you." There has never been a time for you to break away from your solitude which you have defined for yourself and enter another cave of solitude that has always been there. That is where you will find you. Then you will and we will see who you really are besides the fantastic person we already see, the person you want us to see. I want to see the person who is angry and frustrated and lost and longing and how you will become who you are supposed to be. I see you. Don't be surprised what you end up seeing because it is the YOU that will be standing holding your beating heart a stranger handed to you in your hands one fine day and told you your special.



Marvelous post ~ thank you for sharing yourself with us! All I can add is AMEN...


Thank you for filling us in. I was wondering what happened...missed you. So true about the "dress rehearsal". Have a great New Year.


Evelyn Rodriguez

Thanks everyone. Thank you Joely, Alive&Crazy, Ben, Michael, Gene, Julie. And a gloriously surprising New Year to all. For once, I think I am either going to call - those I know that personally - or email back to everyone, individualized, that chipped in a comment. I'm a little backed up, but I've nothing to add in the general comment area here. And anything you did bring up as inspiration I'll fold into the blogging to come. Thanks again.

Spiritual Reality

Very inspiring! Enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work.


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