i tell myself we all have the same reSources

So many epiphanies. This is where I'll start. May explain why I've been reluctant to blog.

A few weeks ago, an out-of-town  buddy whom does NOT know me as the "blogger who survived the tsunami" emailed me sharing how they observed themselves being "manipulated" into allowing a new drug habit to run rampant in a loved one. Whenever they spoke up they were deemed judgmental, as well as violating the other's free will. A snippet of what I wrote as follows: [Apologies for some raw language, but hey, that's the way she wrote.]

"Non-judgment, think you're spot on. It's not judgmental when you see someone holding their breath for eternity and you speak up. It's not about them being bad or good or right or wrong - that's irrelevant. It's about choosing life or death. Choosing life or death is a decision made every single moment. Sure it's their "choice" but you're not being judgmental, just calling out what's so.

Free will gets way trickier. All the ways this planet is fucked up have to do with violations of free will. Let me tell you a true story.

I am thinking about Tan - who managed the bungalows on Phi Phi Island where I stayed. Another idyllic day in paradise. What better way to eat breakfast and sip ginger tea than facing a placid azure bay. When he started to tell the folks enjoying their toast and papaya that they needed to vacate immediately, they were pretty indignant. I mean they are on bloody (they're European) holiday, forgodsakes. They paid good euros for their peace and frivolity.

It became obvious minutes later why Tan was so insistent. No one even felt a lick of seawater when the tsunami came rushing in and obliterated the bamboo platforms and umbrellas on the beach front and then the second wave that went further still, wiping out the lobby and kitchen areas.

Tan had seen what any one of them could have seen. He saw the tide recede far beyond the ring of rocks. Further than he'd ever seen the sea recede. His common sense told him that the sea would come back in as far as it'd gone out.

Now anyone and everyone else could have jumped to the very same conclusion. Maybe he was tempted to think to himself: "Well, it's their free will. They can see the same sea I'm seeing. If anything, they've a better view right there on the bamboo platform on the edge of the shore. I certainly wouldn't want to impinge on their free will."

So thank you for sharing what you did. Because I realize that I've been manipulating myself into believing that I shouldn't say anything because of everyone else's free will.... Many things I have to speak, and many things I've been listening to, but have been quite reluctant to share with anyone because of free will (yada yada).

I tell myself that we all have the same re-Sources. If you choose not to hear and attend to your Self, it is your own right to do so.

That's not feeling so right right now. I feel I need to speak up. If your instincts tell you to speak up, don't buy into it's their free will to die crap.

I'm not sure Tan could really have lived with himself if he had justified philosophically to himself NOT warning the folks enjoying breakfast, NOT whisking the kids that rushed to run toward the waving crab legs.

Luckily, he didn't have time to think about this philosophically. Instinct went into gear. Instincts are right. Your heart is right. Your soul is right. Trust that.

A martyr originally meant a witness, according to the etymology root origins of the word.

Although specifically a witness of torture. I'm not sure how it morphed into meaning a person with a penchant for self-sacrifice exactly. It may have to do with survivor's guilt. But there is a sacrifice of the Self that happens because of our intertwining oneness where witnessing an Other's self-destruction and self-torture, and allowing that is self-abuse.

Speaking up on behalf of life is never wrong.

Tan could only speak his truth. Yet he didn't imperil himself by staying at the shore while they balked and resisted as the incoming freight train of ocean came in.

Around the corner from that cove where Tan's bungalows were, roughly 2000 people died that day December 26, 2004.

Well over 250,000 people died that day - no one will ever know the exact count. I was injured myself on another part of the island - I wasn't at the hotel then; I heard this story from Tan one year later.

I'm kind of clairsentient - it's like clairvoyant, but everyone ultimately has the very same broadcasts coming in. It's a matter of whether we tune in or turn off.

If you have any doubts of what to do, just communicate silently with your Self in its totality - ask for clarity and it will come when you need it right when you need it if your willingness is for whole truth." [Versus sometimes the version of truth you think you'd prefer].

ART credits Rara Avis, by Robert Sturman. (This piece is appropriately enough from the Creators gallery. Aren't jesters the ones that told the chiefs the real skinny versus what they wanted to hear?). Not Quite An Angel, by James Griffin. Enchanted Sea ~ Northern California, by Robert Sturman (on this one, Sturman adds: A disaster makes it obvious / that underneath it all / our true nature is to care.)

Comments

[Marilyn]

"...ask for clarity and it will come when you need it right when you need it if your willingness is for whole truth." That line instantly transported me back to sitting in a chair in a funky room in the Mission getting ready to 'tell my story' in a hardcore A.A. meeting...in that moment I was asking my SELF to set my ego aside and have the WILLINGNESS to speak from my heart.

I wonder why I left that willingness back in those meeting rooms?...

Powerful post. Thank you.

[eve]

"Speaking up on behalf of life is never wrong."

Thank you thank you