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« you are not a troubled guest on this were invited from another and greater night | Main | genesis of alternate realities »

Aug 20, 2007



You notice how anything said/written in French sounds sexy? La Femme au Chapeau, oh la la...

The lady with the hat, not so much.

Or maybe that's just me. Did I say that out loud? ;o)


Amen to everything you've written. Keep on writing. And don't let the naysayers discourage you one iota! They doth protest too much.


Discourage the naysayers and keep writing.
the more they protest, the more they are paying attention to something that is important.
really inspired by what needs to be "birthed".


"What's the point of writing when I get more and more mocking correspondences from destroyers"

Some time ago I posted a quote from Anthony de Mello on another blog, using your blog as a reference. The quote goes something like this:
"Some people write to make a living; others to share their insights or raise questions that will haunt their readers; others yet to understand their very souls. None of these will last. That distinction belongs to those who write only because if they did not write they would burst... These writers give expression to the divine — no matter what they write about."

Also, Alan Watts said something like "We call it an apple tree because the tree apples. And the earth peoples." You I don't know how to call your fruits... but I know they are sweet, and nourishing... at least for me...

Michael Pokocky

Hey there Evelyn. Haven't been around much because I was depressed. When that happens I write more in my journal and longer. Today I read this with sadness and felt I could help a bit maybe. You know I wrote 11 books already? Yeah and people ask why don't you publish? I never could find the answer. So one day I stopped looking for the answers and went and picked up the first novel and started to edit it during the depression I mentioned. You know what happened? I got out of the depression quickly without meds and am happily writing away. In fact I can't wait to wake up everyday and write either in my journal or on a new novel that seemed to come from nowhere and also editing my first novel.
The point is you know or you don't know you're a writer. Soe days the Black Ass will come knocking on your door and it will take you out; it will make you doubt; man it draws you further and further down into the abyss until either you had enough pain and suffering or you just have a revelation and you get out of it fast. I know from reading this your just having a little Black Ass time now and the secret is to be with it and let it be around you but do not pay any attention to it; just know its there and keep on going and that is how you will in the middle of a coffee and a jot in your moleskin you will write something that will kick ass and you will know it and yo will feel absolutely wonderful that you wrote it in the first place.
If you want to quit then quit; if you want to write then write. Whatever you decide to do consciously you will do it no matter what any of us says. So you are free my dear and you can do as you damn well please.
Whatever you choose though will always become a new journey and eventually you will return to the one true thing you are meant to do. So there is no right or wrong choice. Just make one or you will make one anyway; the first is conscious thought and the second is unconscious thought but both are connected to your truth; your reality.
If you want to talk more let me know. I can help you because been there and I know the outcome of every possible scenario that anyone can throw at me, but what I know is only a slice of the totality of all knowledge but it is never the less knowledge hard won.
*kiss Kiss*


oh PLEASE don't stop!!!
i so look forward to your posts, they've synchronistically popped some wonderful things into my head.
and nudged me back to thinking about doing art-for-no-reason, as opposed to the graphic design i do for a living.
it's also been a privilege to see the progression/transition from intellectual technogeek to artist technogeek
i hope you're still here when i get back from the mega technogeekartist camping trip at Black Rock City. i will drink a toast to you during the eclipse


I enjoy your writing here - moreso than on Twitter because I can get you in larger chunks rather than tiny nibbles - and I'll gladly wait for your inspiration to return, however long that takes. It's ok to put the keyboard away for a while.


Well yes, if you want to quit, quit, if you want to write, write. I was at a nadir moment in 1981 and I went to a pawn shop and bought a type writer. That machine saved my ass. What began to pour out was the real me knock knock knockin on my doors of perception. It ran out all over paper. I spent a whole spring and summer hammering away, and I was never the same after that, because what poured out was from some where I have never been before, and somewhere I really wanted to be. Whenever I tried to write for some one else, nothing came. I was at another such moment when I chanced across your blog, and your exhortation to be true to your muse, to find the spot that the universe has already clawed out for you kept me going. I finished a book, and every time I wanted to "write for an audience" you had a post that brought me back to why I do what I do, and it ain't for no audience, unless that audience is the over soul that we all share, and that you have been doing yeoman's work to keep alive and communicating with us all. But if you need to go, go, but don't let it be for naysayers, because they are nature's test on our efforts. Just know that you are loved by me, and not the part of me that wants something from you, but the part that wants something from me, and I will miss you deeply.

Your friend,

Salmon Fortunatus Aquarius

Sorry I didn't get to S.F. that time I said I was coming, didn't get north of Salinas. But Steinbeck says Howdy, and let her buck.

Evelyn Rodriguez

First, partially wrote this post because I think it reflects a typical roller coaster of creative peeps: "Why do I bother?" (I've heard other friends whine this refrain too.)

A lot of living artists that are pushing edges and frontiers don't have a very easy time of it. The temptation for me is because of other skills I could go back to corporate (and/or start-up) grind and get paid the big bucks for hawking wares. It's almost TOO easy. (I'm not, that would be a big retreat, and a small death to me.)

I have other creative gifts and ideas that want to see the light of day, and often times I wonder if writing is truly my way. (Not art, but specifically writing, especially bloggging which is its own animal.)

There's an opportunity cost, and I could just as easily convey art in other vehicles that would give me more face to face time with people. Writing is a very solitary activity.

Recently, a friend told me I should look up the "fluxus" art movement. I did. I like the colony's focus on dynamism, and "Aktions" — "works challenging definitions of art as focused on objects."

There is something about writing that doesn't quite have that dynamic, LIVING sensibility to it. It's something I grapple with. A huge part of me leans towards a more alive, less inert, art. One where there are no artifacts, just experience.

Gandalfe, Oui.
Thanks Nadine.
Lucidity, I don't believe I'd be here indoors in a dungeon -like room (all indoors feel like that to me, I am like a butterfly) writing on this machine trying to create another Blogger blog for a semi-fictional character on a day that resembles paradise if "this" wasn't compelling me to tell its tale.
Michael, Wow. Thank you. Yes, I am never quite certain if I am a "writer" and meant to be "writing." Though, I also sense that it is a larger gift than finding the right words at the right time, if you will. Something to do with the intention, and the troubadour and bardic and other mythmaker traditions.

What I never have doubt about however is that I am meant to use my imagination.

Helen, Thanks so much for writing. I'm not sure we've corresponded before, but it's a pleasure to meet you finally. Yes, if you've been reading that long, you've seen a lot of evolution! I think perhaps blogging got me to crystallize in words what I care about, and that has a way of affecting and rippling both in my life and whomever it touches and then their ripples are added to the ringing song of water. Thank you for sharing.

Arkielogy, Not sure what I could say. I literally cried when I finished reading your comments. Not out of sadness, but the tears of being moved, touched, imprinted when I read what you wrote. You truly understand why I write too. Thank you.

Evelyn Rodriguez

Loofa, Thanks so much for all your encouragement.

Forgot to respond in the long reply to everyone. Actually, Inspiration galore is there. Yet one can still be quite reticent and reluctant to share any and all of it because of anticipation from past experiences (uh, never a good idea to assume future is more of the past) and judging/interpreting that "they" won't want to hear what I'd write, should I want to write the movies and images sworling in my head down.

Evelyn Rodriguez

Ah, keep finding I still have more to thank. I am very blessed to have so many wonderful, encouraging kinfolk. Thank you all.

Thank you, Peter. That is an exquisite quote, and I adore de Mello too. The divine never forces or pushes or coaxes its tales to be told, but there is a distinct sense that sometimes I am in Its service, and sometimes that service takes the shape of a scribe.

Michael Pokocky

Here is something that came as a gift to me and at the time I wrote it last week I knew it was significant and it made me realize that this -- writing -- is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I share it with you as inspiration for making a choice whatever it may be.

"How can one know better or beauty or appreciation or love if one has not known profound sadness?"

*hugs ~~michael

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