On Meditation

Yesterday, I write: "When I go on Buddhist meditation retreats (confession: I don't do much sitting meditation, everyday life is my meditation)..."

Which isn't entirely accurate.

I don't typically plan on meditating. But sometimes it just seizes me, it finds me, it humbles me, and the profundity of it stops me still, maybe hours on end that feel like one moment stacked upon another into one vertical plunge like a diver off the cliff.

Like last night.

When the 'energy', the 'presence' is within the container of my body it is exhilarating, intoxicating (so much so that caffeine and alcohol seem to subtract from the direct experience rather) and the senses are inhaling it all. There is a breathlessness like riding in a jetboat across the waves shrieking with glee or perhaps the rollercoaster of small raft taken by the current of a cascading churning rapid. But it shifts in another instant, in the flick of the kaleidoscope wheel...

And I plumb the surface of water through to a deep fathomless fjord so motionless and clear that no one knows the depths or bottoms. And it gets more and more mirrorlike and every ripple's vibration dampens further and further to a zero-point stillness and yet more stillness. Zooming into a single drop of pure water, each buzzing molecule, electron, quark sways to equilibrium in an alert trance mesmerized too.

The potency of is unspeakable. The bliss in your body has flooded evenly across the entire earth's body and all its parallel universes.

I have entered the spaceless space, timeless time, placeless place that even writers cannot tread. Where symbols halt. When Silence speaks.

The kitchen clock beats loudly marching tick-tock in procession but I don't believe it anymore.

Comments

[Tom Melkonian]

I enjoy your writings and especially enjoyed today's on meditation. A few months ago I had a profound experience which seized me. Some very unfortunate and unpleasent things were going on in my life, I needed to find a new home, and I was very unhappy, angry, upset and anxious, unable to sleep. After falling asleep in exhaustion one night, I gradually awoke to find myself in a deep meditative or hypnotic state. It was as if I was floating inside a bubble of comfort, absolutely relaxed, yet gradually becoming more keenly awake and aware of what was going on in my life (but not feeling so upset about it). I could feel the dark heavy energy of my pain sort of gathering in my chest. It became more and more clearly defined, and then I felt as if a "hand" was gently pushing that energy out of me, leaving me feeling relieved and supremely relaxed. I drifted off to sleep after that and had pleasent dreams and woke up feeling much more sane. I definately feel like I received some help that evening (even if it was from another part of myself).
I've never been a formal meditator before, but I am familiar with all kinds of states through music etc, and I find myself trancing out when running or riding a bicycle etc. Since that experience I have made an effort to get back to that healing state, with some good results. Anyway I just thought I would share that because what you wrote today reminded me of that spontaneous experience.
Also, I thought I would pass this blog along in case you are interested: http://optimysticbloghead.blogspot.com/
You might enjoy it, the writer is an 80-year old Danish man, a close friend of mine who is an buddhist, writer, painter and African music enthusiast (loves to play drums) who lives here in Santa Cruz. He has many amazing stories which he tells of in short pieces throughout the blog. His paintings are on display here too, many with buddhist spiritual themes. He has written and published a translation of the Tao Te Ching.
Though you might enjoy his blog.

-Tom

[Joel]

- I have entered the spaceless space, timeless time, placeless place that even writers cannot tread. Where symbols halt. When Silence speaks.-

Very poetic. I agree that it is hard to describe moments of self-awareness and meditative states. Thank you for your posts, I enjoy them very much:)

[Joni]

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