I laughed out loud, nearly toppling off the barstool at breakfast, when I read this cartoon from Hugh.
I'd recently written a friend, "God knows that I am just coming out of the longest self-imposed celibate stretch in history since I was a virgin; all part of that ascetic renunciate 'enlightenment at all costs dammit' chic." It was just a phase. It's also known as the dark night of the soul.
That phase is totally unnecessary. Since folks seem to care more about outcomes...heck if the renunciate's phase gets me something rocking Blissfully Big in the future Someday then all the drek is worth it right?
Well I'm a lousy salesperson then. I think I've inadvertently talked a male friend out of nirvana. He looked crestfallen when I said I don't really have the capacity to be carried away by sexual fantasies anymore.
It only got worse. I'd recently been to a peace conference and learned about non-violent communication. So he mentioned the Sex, Spirituality, and Nonviolent Communication upcoming course at NVC Santa Cruz.
"I guess they won't be covering S&M then?" I replied.
"Not even spanking," he retorts.
I'm not upset that mixing up pain and pleasure is nigh impossible for me. And my friend, probably along with many men, may be disappointed to learn that I'm no more (nor less) turned on by them than I am by watching a sun ray glint off the spider web, then bounce off my backyard table.
In my book, you're not really living until that is erotic.
"For happiness, how little suffices for happiness! ...the least thing precisely, the gentlest thing, the lightest thing, a lizard's rustling, a breath, a wink, an eye glance - little maketh up the best happiness. Be still." - Friedrich Nietzsche, "Thus Spake Zarathustra"
"What does it mean that I am in this endless universe, thinking that I'm a man sitting under stars on the terrace of the earth, but actually empty and awake throughout the emptiness and awakedness of everything? It means that I'm empty and awake, that I know I'm empty, awake, and that there's no difference between me and anything else. In other words it means that I've become the same as everything else." - Jack Kerouac, "The Dharma Bums"
p.s. There is no Someday.
My friend Ruby rocks - if she doesn't kill me for posting this - she says: "It's erotica strolling down the beach. It's erotica biting into a strawberry. Erotica is E-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e." Re yesterday's post: I think she's going with 'Nature's Divine Erotica' to define one of her photographic bodies of work.
This post was not an underhanded way to fish for dates now that I'm available. However leads for work would be welcome. With the availability of the podcast of the "We Got Naked, Now What?" BlogHer panel at SXSW, I recalled that the BlogHer 'naked blogging' poll results showed that sex (and money) are taboo subjects bloggers prefer to stay clear of.
Heck, if we can't talk about sex, God, and death, what's there to talk about? (Lust is certainly a key component of Apple's strategy but that's another post.)
"We are embarrassed by sex. We’d rather not think about death. And if we bring up God (or god or gods), noses will get out of joint. Yet sex, death, and God are the most profound considerations of mankind. How can companies hope to remain relevant if they won’t discuss them?" – “Breakthrough Ideas for 2005: A Taboo on Taboo”, from Harvard Business Review, February 2005
More than one close friend has called me on this post.(I may do a post update later, but I'm on my way out the door.) For instance,
“He looked crestfallen when I said I don't really have the capacity to be carried away by sexual fantasies anymore.”
"I don’t believe you."
Yeah. I lied. Or partially lied. Still it's different than ever ever before. I've already been carried away, totally carried away and yet still so here, so right here it's ahhhh (words!! what words do I use!) exquisite.
This morning I gave myself permission to have fantasies (uh, I was a tad guilty about it, you know the old enlightened saint/sage archetype). I wrote in journal: "It's okay to have fantasies as long as I see through them as with all other fantasy. Why judge one harsher than all the rest of ephemera?" And a weight literally lifted.
Then to my other friend, the crestfallen one, I explained: "A filmmaker or novelist tries for the effect of having you suspend disbelief. I've always been one to literally BE right there in the movie. I avoided horror movies because that monster was literally chasing me! I could be so engaged that I entirely lost awareness that I was in an audience watching a film being projected. Now I can totally enjoy a fantasy - we're talking beyond simply sexual - but I am fully aware of the insubstantiality of its reality simultaneously. That doesn't diminish the enjoyment of the movie for me; I'm conscious it's a movie, feel more peaceful watching it, and strangely enough I love it all the more.
Posted by: Evelyn Rodriguez | May 05, 2006 at 10:31 AM
Hmmm...I don't know if it's equal pleasure so much as it's equivalent. Tapping into the great Whatever is pretty great no matter where it happens. One reason I suspect (crazy) actors go out with other (crazy) actors is b/c at least we all understand that touching the hand of the Infinite happens at least as powerfully in moments of flow onstage as it does during sex.
I like your thought that with enlightenment comes the *freedom* from fantasy, and the horror movie analogy. Again, with enough (good, responsible) acting training, you can be fully involved in the fantasy of the created moment and yet fully aware that you are actually an actor playing a part onstage. It's a difficult thing to explain to someone who's never felt it.
Again, hmmm...maybe more people seeking enlightment should really be taking acting classes!
Posted by: communicatrix | May 05, 2006 at 10:48 AM