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Jun 13, 2005



I'm a firm believer in following my gut instincts. Years ago I got married right out of college to my friends' disbelief and will be married 11 years next week. The week after getting married, my husband and I started a 4 year long-distance, intercontinental marriage because I knew I had to get my graduate degree. After finishing my PhD, I left the U.S. once again to my friends' and colleagues' disbelief and came to Asia. When I dropped out of science to freelance and be a mom, most people couldn't believe that I was the same person. But I'm happier and more fulfilled thatn I have ever been.

Not that I didn't think or agonize over my choices but in the end, I knew what was right for me at that time and place. There is no better way to live an authentic life than to be true to yourself no matter what anyone else tells you.





Very interesting post. Finding an authentic life is what I try at least for 7 years now. And I'm not even close to it...

At least I can say that the opposite way doesn't work. I used to re-think my decision over and over and almost always had poor or average results.

I'm fascinated by "effort-less" achievements and truly belive that's the way we're supposed to live, but putting that into practice is what I'm stuggling with. I guess, I have to learn more to trust.

Anyway, I came across your blog recently and, although I really try hard to limit blog-reading, keep visiting it. Good work, keep it up :)


re fear OR love...or as Jerry Jampolsky said so many years ago, "Love is letting go of fear." It might seem a cheesy '70's sentiment, but it still fits if you think about it.

My personal belief is that gurus don't hold the answers for any of us. If we have an aha! moment hearing someone speak or reading their words, etc. it's usually because it simply reminds us of what we already know...but may have forgotten. Some sculptors have an image in mind when they set out to work...some let the sculpture reveal itself as they work. I'm one of the latter in my quest to carve out my authentic self. I know it's there...I just have to strip away all the guck it's buried under. And, for me, the most exciting part of that quest is that I have no preconceived notions of what she will look like when I finally reach her...because that opens the doors to all sorts of possibilities...

Barry Ritholtz

One of my favorite books int his area is Thomas Gilovich's "How We Know What Isn't So"

Its a terrific look at many of the foibles you mentioned from pre-eminent researcher.

Evelyn Rodriguez

Hi all, Thanks for insightful commentary - especially reflections on your own lives. I'll try to comment in more depth soon. I'm actually enroute to Laguardia all day today (yep, ALL DAY) on my way to the South Asian Journalists Assn conference (



I'm trying to forget the words dudes...

Hal O'Brien

I'll tell you the truth. Not unlike the way I read "Cluetrain Manifesto" and thought of it as a book about politics and public life (rather than "only" business as such)... I read the story of the As and Bs, and think that would explain a lot about our politics of late.

Regardless of where one stands ideologically, I point out:

* Our rationale for being in Iraq is complicated (and changing).

* Our rationale for not being able to find Osama bin Laden is complicated (and changing).

* Our rationale for the existence of Guantanamo is complicated.

Etc., etc., etc.

It's possible that these are complicated stories, and they're being told as simply as possible.

It's also possible they're not.

Here are some more ideas, and think about how complicated the answers tend to be:

* Why doesn't our press report more on substantive issues, rather than, "If it bleeds, it leads"?

* Why don't people care more about the deterioration of public life?

* Why do developers continue to build primarily suburbs ("primarily" by acres developed), even though multiuse downtowns provide much higher returns per square foot of property?

* Why are Americans so scared, when so many indicators show we have less and less to be frightened of?

Again... Those types of questions tend to have conventional wisdom stories for their answers. How complicated are they? How much do they sound like Bs rationalizing to As?

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