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Sep 30, 2004


Jory Des Jardins

Man, there is a LOT here. I couldn't possibly read all of the books you mention in this one post anytime soon--but I want to!

I can totally relate to how a time of despair can lead on down the road to self-awareness. It's a process that's so hard to describe, but it has something to do with stripping away what doesn't matter and giving you an exquisite look at what's really there.

My one book recommendation Jack Kornfield, After the Ecstasy the Laundry. He does an amazing job of explaining how this process works, and the four "gateways" to greater self-awareness. Tragedy/adversity is probably the most common one. Some simply get a calling to delve deeper. And I'm having troubly remembering the other two.


Look up the name Beyers Naude. He is a guy who truly self-actualized. He was a South African Aparteidnik because that's what he was born into. Then because of the Sharpville massacre he realized his core. He became a key anti aparteid activist. Sacrificed tons in doing so but clearly become more who he truly was.


i agree that not self-actualizing is self-indulgent; the problem really is not with self-actualizing itself, but with the fact that it is such an easy refuge for extreme narcissists, who are naturally drawn to it for the wrong reasons and can use it as a defense for their pathological self-absorption. likewise positivity can be a refuge for the insensitive. both are spaces that can harbor the wrong motives, but you can't blame the concept itself for its being misused by those with less than worthy intentions.

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