Hmm, interesting piece pointed out by BoingBoing.
Long article about happiness from The Guardian. I was especially interested in the part that reported that people, on average, are least happy at age 42, because they realize they aren't going to be rich and famous like they thought when they were in their twenties. After 42, though, they stop worrying about it, and start enjoying life more.'People start out in life pretty certain that they're going to end up like David Beckham or win the Nobel Prize,' says Oswald. 'Then, after a few years, they discover it's quite tough out there - not just in their careers, but in life. Unsurprisingly, their happiness drops.' The good news is that the downer doesn't last. According to Oswald, if you trace the trajectory of most peoples' happiness over time it resembles a J-curve. People typically record high satisfaction levels in their early twenties. These then fall steadily towards middle age, before troughing at around 42. Most of us then grow steadily happier as we get older, with those in their sixties expressing the highest satisfaction levels of all - as long, that is, as they stay healthy.
The J-curve theory of happiness sounds plausible. I think the trough described is also commonly known as the "mid-life crisis". My trough happened a little earlier - I hit bottom at age 36. I've been on the upward swing since and can honestly say I've never felt happier and centered. In my twenties, I personally didn't experience the high satisfaction levels that the article mentions. I went through stages of roller-coaster ups and downs -- it was way too easy to get depressed about the smallest (in retrospect and in perspective) things. I lived large parts of my life in a mild, but functional, numbing depression.
Like the Guardian reporter I too consumed everything on the topic of happiness and inner peace I could get my hands on starting three years ago --- this reading frenzy escalated during my separation. The result: I learned no book can make you happy. And even if a book handed you the secret nugget to happiness (which I can say a few -- but only a very few -- actually do) unless you can apply it and experience it for yourself...nada. I finally ended up just using the books as potential references but ultimately constructing my own lab....using my own life as the lab. With a bit of trial and error and a bit of the scientific method of observation, I tested my own hypotheses to hit upon the elusive formula for my happiness.
One piece of advice from my own experience is to use articles, blog posts, books, films, one-on-one chats with happy elders, etc. as tools only. Also only pay attention to those that are written or spoken by genuinely and consistently happy people. You'll know it when you see it.
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. - The Buddha
Miguel Ruiz ups the ante -- don't believe anyone, not even yourself. Make sure your own reason and common sense aren't being hijacked by your inner critic.
One of the key insights from such studies is that there is a class of 'flow' activities that completely absorb people while they are engaged in them and which we remember afterwards as highly gratifying (the activities can range from a skier mastering a black run, to a ballet dancer executing a perfect pirouette, to an English student reaching the end of Ulysses).
Flow experiences are when one is totally present and not stuck in the past or hoping or worrying about the future. Staying present has been one of the keys I've found to my happiness. (I have a tendency to live in and anticipate the future -- both 2 minutes out and 2 years out.) My trick is to create mini-flow experiences in as many moments in my life as I can. As I cannot always be mountain running or white-water kayaking, I can work on achieving flow (or in-the-now) states when driving home, washing the dishes or even blogging. I cannot recommend the book "The Power of Now" enough.
The important point to grasp, says Diener, is that although happiness has a large genetic component, none of us are prisoners of evolution.
I sure hope readers focus on the prisoners of evolution part here and not the large genetic component part. We're not victims. Each moment we have a new choice to make in our reaction. My sense is that my own family tends to have a tendency towards depression, but that doesn't mean it is inevitable by any means.
I just don't have the time now to adequately respond to the entire article. It brings up a lot of different points I'd love to respond to. I'm writing on book on the topic of creativity and innovation, and it also taps into this happiness theme as a foundation to creativity too. (BTW, I'll probably draft out the book for feedback on this or a new blog soon.)
Have a happy weekend!
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