No holding breath and waiting for the fairy prince (may be the princesss for you), generous benefactor, big-wig agent, guru, or Messiah to sweep me off my feet and wash away all my tears and make everything all right. I am having a love affair with my Self.
"be a ringing glass, that in sounding swiftly shatters.
Be - but still know non-being's conditions,
the infinite foundation of your innermost vibration,
so you fulfill it fully in this only time around" - Rilke, Sonnets to Orpheus
On the other hand, why do I tend to wait wait wait for external signs and omens from on high to proceed?
As Gillian MacBeth-Louhan asks, "Can we become the sign we so desperately seek?"
I was just about to share my own version of an allegorical story by Plato, but instead this other on the alchemical evolution of the soul through the Kabbalistic Tree of Life seems on the surface so fittingly Valentine's Day. In it, Aleister Crowley's The Wake World, Lola, the main character in first person, is accompanied by her fairy prince, who turns out is also her guide as she navigates.
And whom is this dreamy Fairy Prince? For Crowley, he pictured each soul's own Holy Guardian Angel. For me, it's what I call my total self (the sum total of all my simultaneous existences in all dimensions seen and unseen, including yet not limited to my future self). Lola stalls as she's confronted with the threshold to the unknown, at the Universe card if you're familiar with the Tarot's soul journey, and she lingers on where she is:
Then he said: "Come on! This is only the Servant's Hall, nearly everybody stays there all their lives." And I said: "Kiss me!" So he said: "Every step you take is only possible when you say that!"
p.s. You have the best possible mentor, guide, teacher, guru uniquely suited to your idiosynchratic needs right alongside, within and without you. It know just you need to talk to ravens, precisely when you need another piece of dark chocolate and your fav brand - amazingly, everything about you - and even omniscience too.
I find it best to trust my inclination in the present moment (the spontaneous surrender of "Kiss me!") without "checking in" too much, but if I'm temporarily stunned ("He who hesitates is lost"), I simply ask to be directed by my total self, and it's that simple call back to clarity. If that's new to you, you can try using a pendulum, or applying kinesiology (also known as muscle strength testing, David Hawkin's techniques appear valid), or simply asking to be directed by your Total Self, or Oversoul, and then closing your eyes and selecting a choice from a set of overturned paper slips (could be as simple as two slips: "yes" or "no").
I loved this particular article from Gillian MacBeth-Louthan's January 2008 newsletter, especially the two lines, "Can we become the sign we so desperately seek?" and "When two or more are gathered in energy and heart the universe will unfold exposing soft skin and lift them to a place of miracles.":
"In our lives there are many doorways of change we would like to enter, but like the old hermit in his cave we await the sign from above to move into that place of destined change. At what point does the external sign shift the outcome? Why do we wait for external sources to command our attention and only then make our move toward destined change?
Can we become the sign we so desperately seek? As humans we seem to need confirmation from on high that our choices are politically correct, we need an cosmic OK to move ahead. As humans we are so connected on a cellular level that we sometimes need to group with another to open the portal of possibility. Our energies emulsify with one another in agreement or disagreement to either open a portal or close a possibility.
When two or more are gathered in energy and heart the universe will unfold exposing soft skin and lift them to a place of miracles. This is a time of whipping up some home made miracles for each other with home baked intention as the main ingredient. Softly helping others kneed their desired outcome.
This is a time of deep reflection into a pool of possibility. Each situation in your daily life will touch you deeper and deeper. You can verbally discount the sadness of another but we all know that the energy of ‘one for all and all for one’ is not just for three musketeers. We as a planet and a collective unit of light are energetically ‘our brother’s keeper’ whether we want to be or not. As a species created in the image of God we are vibrationally and biologically connected for it can be no other way.
As the light energy steadily increases in pressure and position we will find many who cannot adjust to this change that is driven by human needs and wants. Emotions will float to the surface like old treasures that were once hidden. Playing into another’s dialogue will only clip your wings of light. Wishing a disagreeable person the very best will unplug you from their grid of negativity. Like attracts like, so if you are walking thru a big pile of cosmic dung do not blame the holy cow." - Gillian MacBeth-Louthan