grace not guilt, devotion not deprivation, expression not repression

Packing to leave this Silicate Valley that swirls of money and machines, towards that that swirls of magic and mirth, I've already begun to miss what I'll miss.

I absorb sequoia masts enshrouded in mists on my walk to the strip mall corner cafe this afternoon. This ravens' lair uncharacteristically silent today. Then there's the magnolia that love fell into me last Juneteenth. Ah, the grapefruit tree on Johnson with the lullaby yellow fragrant fruit.

in this moist almost silence
in this ancient breathing stillness
in this endless moment
in this obeisance
the trees
speak
- Graeme K. Talboys

I awake to the buzzing sound of grinding two days ago. Later, I see for myself: sawdust and limbs piled on the street two doors down. Another perfectly healthy tree chopped down. Does anyone ask the tree? Does anyone ask me? What gross violations of free will are we condoning? I'm still dazed and unsure what is going on, but trees are being marked for "removal" for blocks on end here where I currently live.

On a recent hike in the nearest preserve, Fremont Older, there is a sign pronouncing "Sudden Oak Disease" is spreading throughout. Does anyone listen to the omens and patterns and symbols any longer? Does everyone not converse with roses and figs and rosemary any longer?

I'm not really sure what to say about "the environment" although I've committed to Blog Action Day today. I remember once an introduction to Zen comic book when I was becoming willing to be curious that maybe the world wasn't limited to my conceptions of it. In the comic, a swimming fish seeker ponders thoughtfully, "Um, so, what is thing they call the ocean?"

Well, to be more accurate, and it may be harder to capture in a panel and thought balloons because of its Self-referential absurdity, it's more like the ocean asking, "What is the ocean?" We feel ourselves a mere drop in the ocean - distinct, disparate somehow from the ocean. Yet that very drop is the ocean, the waves, the raincloud arching toward the sky and back again. Nature and our nature: not two, not one, this.

Maybe Pythagoras is to blame. He taught this "dictotomy of perfect mathematical forms and imperfect material forms" and later influenced generations of philosophers such as Plato and other that promoted metaphysical dualism which has resulted in countless debates of matter over spirit or is it spirit over matter as if they were divided natures. Perhaps we can also thank the churches for the "matter is evil" tyranny we're under today. But all that is pointless philosophical blathering.

When I moved to a sublet this summer in San Francisco (my last attempt to make diamond being fit into square wormhole), I'd see stuff everywhere like these stickers on paper towel dispensers: "Don't forget...these come from trees." If I needed more guilt heaped up, I'd have remained a Catholic, thank you very much. Meanwhile, while all these declarations to be green or else surrounding one in the steely streets I never noticed anyone actually admiring trees (much less hugging) nor eyes meeting my gaze in the cafes.

I don't believe guilt is going to save the world. I believe in grace.

I don't believe deprivation is going to save the world. I believe in devotion.

I don't believe repression is going to save the world. I believe in expression.

The whole notion of "saving the world" is fraught with dilemmas too. But this post is getting  carried away as it is. So I'm cutting to the chase: Forget saving the world. Enjoy yourself and you cannot help but be re membered to your own nature which has always been inseparateable from Nature, from Universe, from Multiverse.

Live in graceful devotional expression of the divine, and it is easeful to be a freegan.

"If you are experiencing anything other than pleasure than you are experiencing some sort of resistance to your ultimate survival." - Ian Xel Lungold

We are moving from a time of the programming of original sin to original participation. Emancipation (asserting our free will) and Imagination too are elements of life, vitality.

"Orpheus dates back to an ancient time when words and things were not yet separated but were united in a kind of melodic chant. Naming, singing, was identical with creation, with making reality. Or, rather, in naming, the Gods spoke through the name... In this sense, poetry was science; language was knowledge and power. At least in the mouth of the prophet-poet-shaman, language was the language of the Gods." - Christopher Bamford, Homage to Pythagoras (quote via Radical Nature) 

The Secret started to hint of keys like Appreciation and Imagination. Keys out of this base level of game play yet still acting within narrow perimeters as if this were the only game in this tune town Terra. So most folks borrowed the keys out of "prison" to jot down to the IKEA, get a spanking new comfy futon, zip back to prison, all the while merely rearranging the furniture. There is more to Mother, more to matter than meets the eye.

"Close your eyes and make a wish. You didn’t have to think very hard about it did you? Now ask yourself what is standing in between you and that dream? Take your time. You have the answer inside you." - Stephanie Azaria, Weekly Horoscope 10/15-10/21/2007 for Leo (he, he the Leo aspect within each of us is the curious child creatix)

The signs are all around of a new age as I flit about my day: Leo Dr, Eden Ave, Fruitdale Dr, Orchard Dr, Goddess Ct. And reminders to wreath myself in symbols abound too like Riddle Drive.

"And the shamanic-Orphic chants, songs, and poetry were the means by which the human mind could participate in the story of matter itself. But we lost this deep connection a long time ago -- when we stopped listening, and nature and the gods fell silent." - Christian de Quincey, Radical Nature: Rediscovering the Soul of Matter

This topic is too vast, too inner resting to try to complete today, or for that matter, ever complete. Creation is a never-ending game. I look forward to inviting you engage your imagination and play in a new game, World With All. This is a collaborative reality game. It starts Now from right where you are. Another version of it starts here on this blog (yep, I grabbed WorldWithAll.org too) sometime after the Mercury retrograde.

Enjoy yourself as Adyashanti says, and in joy in your self, as Eckhart Tolle would say.

Art: When Apples Were Golden, by John Strudwick, The Music of a Bygone Age, by John Strudwick (via German site on Lady Genevieve as Hellenic symbol, I think); Saint Cecilia, by John William Waterhouse; The Enchanted Garden of Messer Ansaldo by Marie Spartali Stillman.

Bonus: Since I mentioned the lovely magnolia that ceased me last Juneteenth two thousand sixth anno domini, here's a letter I mailed to a lover that next day:

"I went to see Adya last night - hadn't seen him in person in a month since he'd been doing the whole East coast tour thing. I'm used to seeing him (except for my Asia trip) more often. I cannot say that it was his doing that he took me to a whole new level per se, but in his
presence I realized yet another depth to what I already know.

I walked home alone from Safeway (needed some toiletries) afterward. My car works again, I'm just in a walking mode and the moon crescent was beautiful and calling me to walk. I came to a magnolia, the giant blossoms are now like a leafy menorah holding pearl-white candles pointing upward to the night, and I was moved to touch it.

I spotted and placed my palm to the heart of the tree. I feel it, petting its bark moving my hands the way a blind person explores your face for the first time in order to know you every inch. There is nothing sexual, erotic in that touch. Why do I have to say that? Something's shifted deeper into another intimacy altogether. This isn't about rediscovering my sexuality, sensuality. It is an exploration of my very own boundless body, probably what they've always meant by the Body of Christ. Foreign, new, familiar.

As I touch the tree I almost cry but no tears come just the pang of it hits my chest. I don't need to cry anymore. We're home. We're reunited again. I realize that I had come upon something true I wrote to you right after [a trip together] - "I'm speechless." But I kept that knowing at bay to a shallower,albeit playful, level. I didn't let myself feel what that truthfully meant maybe... until last night.

Yesterday I was at a cafe where there are tubs of chalk and chalkboard walls in the bathroom. I had to come back today to check out what the actual exchange was and what I wrote, because something profound 'happened' since. So I was reading this exchange on the chalkboard :

Person 1 scrawls: Love is a dirty word. Use it carefully.

Person 2: Love is just a word.

Person 3: Love is a scary word.

Person 4: Dam I wish we all could talk in Latin they had 5-7 words 4 Love like brother love, love for your wife/husband and so on.

Person 5 a.k.a me just had to chime in, yet something else wrote for me:

Observe getting caught in words, concepts. Love is Wordless.

Whatever I wrote then that afternoon I understood deeply by midnight...a meditation seized me, humbled me, plunged me to another deepness. I don't know how long I was in meditation - hours - I think I went to bed past 2.

I feel speechless, wordless, dumbstruck almost - except that of course I'm actually wiser but it's unspeakable. Wisestruck, moonstruck?

I came upon this quote a few days ago: "Love must be as much a light, as it is a flame." - Thoreau

I  don't feel scared now... In fact I look forward to melting myself. Into my Self.

Mr. So-called Chaotic Bundle of Wax [his own words, not mine], the invitation is always there to acknowledge the liquid pool of Being already now. And, in realm of time, the invite is there to experience the process of the melt together. I don't mean only me, either, it always happens in the context of relationship because we see our nature in reflection.

This reminds me of how much I'm absorbed watching lava lamps as they seem to capture the felt sense of that flux of moving into and out of each other and exploring, discovering this mysterious delicious cosmic body of Being."

Bonus 2: Very apropos during this time of messages on tuning in to Nature's messages and "normally unseen spiritual energies" by Stephanie Azaria.

Every word below from October 14, 2007 forecast from Stephanie Azaria:

A MAN BECOMING AWARE OF NATURE SPIRITS AND NORMALLY UNSEEN SPIRITUAL ENERGIES

Commentary: ‘A Man Becoming Aware of Nature Spirits and Normally Unseen Spiritual Energies’ shows the rational mind of someone being overshadowed by supernatural and intuitive images, thoughts and feelings. Equipped to see the invisible, this person has started to penetrate into the deeper and more mystical levels of the unconscious.

Oracle: There may be strong feelings of another level of awareness happening and these may be growing stronger by the moment. The imagination is showing a clearer path to some understanding, even though, along the way, there may be confusion. Look for insights and messages in the things that you see and hear around you. Try bringing these insights back into your everyday consciousness, as they can expand your feelings about yourself and life. Remembering a strong sense of who you are while allowing messages to come through from “the other side” can lead to a heightened feeling of aliveness and an increased ‘Awareness’ of the magic and mystery of life. Getting in touch with ‘Nature Spirits and Normally Unseen Spiritual Energies’ can be incredibly enriching and miracles can happen in your life. Indeed, there can be the revelation of being close to God. Your senses can really come alive on many levels, with things revealed that you might have only imagined before. By contrast, the ordinary, everyday world may seem boring, lifeless and shallow. You can have surprising perceptions of existence on another level-but will they be useful or just lead you astray? Remember to stay grounded in your experiences as it can bring you considerable joy. Losing touch with reality, however, can lead to losing the plot to the point where it is difficult to discern what is real and what is not. ‘Becoming More Aware’ of other levels of existence can be enriching in many ways.

Pretty amazing, isn’t it? Remember that Mercury has just begun his retrograde journey, and that it’s important to pay attention to all the messages that are coming toward you now. These can come from anywhere. The synchronicity in which we live is nothing short of miraculous. A sign on a bus stop, a snippet of conversation as you pass by two people talking, a book you pick up, not to mention all the usual ways in which we receive messages. Don’t disregard anything. It’s all the great messenger speaking directly to you, bringing you the information you missed the first time you passed this way.

The Moon will be void for much of the day [October 14, 2007], until 3pm EDT, when she moves into Sagittarius. A void Moon means the Goddess is fully present and available to anyone willing to get still enough to access her. Open your heart and allow your divine feminine energy to emerge. Your own intuitive wisdom will guide you faithfully today, if you’ll allow it.

The evening is marked by one single aspect, a Moon Saturn square. Remember that the weeks ahead (until October 23) [primarily because of the Pluto conjunction with Galactic Center] are offering the placement exam for the lesson of self-mastery with regard to self-Love. Somewhere in the next 10 days you will be asked to leave your past behind. Your choice will be to repeat an old, habitual behavior or to choose with all your strength to move beyond it once and for all. Make no mistake, it is a placement exam. The decision you make will determine exactly where you stand for the Saturn in Virgo journey.

We have entered the future. The future is now. Be the change you wish for the most in the world.

Comments

[rox]

Beautiful thoughts Evelyn - Grace not guilt, devotion not deprivation - I will be referencing you on an upcoming Beach Walks! Thank you so very much.

[Atao]

Recently I realized that loving and giving love are two different pairs of shoes. Loving can sometimes be quite easy. But giving love is an art and it's so interesting because it is about materializing it. En-Joy the Earth. Animate, the stones. Anilove our companions.

[dblwyo]

As the Roshi said, "Before enlightenment, chop wood, draw water, work in field. After englightenment, chop wood, draw water, work in field". Of course it helps to have a field to work in that provides satisfaction. The search for grace is with us always and it gladdens me to see it returning to front burner in general and more especially in folks such as yourself who lead the charge from their own ground.
If you ever have the time and energy you might find Campbell's Vol. 4 of his Mask of God series, "Creative Mythology" a very worthwhile investment. In it he looks at the modern search for ground but starts with the historical and cultural background going back to the troubedors of Provence and the Alchemists, as well as linking into the "Mystery" religions from prior volumes.
In other words you explorations have great historical roots and perhaps some of that might be helpful or informative ?
Just a thought, FWIW.

[Princess Haiku]

Hi, I came to visit via NowCamille whom I am missing. Your blog is interesting and this post in particular captivated me. Nicely written.

[Ayse Gursoz]

wow! what an alchemista you are. what beatitude in your script! i'm so happy i found your blog! i found it by googling a poem a friend wrote to me...as I tend to google wonderful potent syntax to find the text's sister. this was the poem: priestess dreamer walking connected. brown grounds reader amplifies the ripples from my brain, lives in the spaces between the sun and the rain.

[Medicine Road]

After all the tears, that we have bleed, I thought we'd have some peace, but we have war instead. So if we all stick together with whatever LOVE we have inside, we can show the world we can change it, if we stand side by side. LOVE by Medicine Road.
myspace.com/medicineroad