I'd rather not write this in many ways. But as this blog is about creativity, creation, and creators and visionaries, I thought I'd attempt to clarify for what it's worth. I write because I see women particularly hold back, period. And hold back their gifts. And, I know, I am one of them.
Few women will talk publicly (many confide one-on-one to other women) of rape, of sexual abuse, of sexuality, of power, of money, of repression, of the unabashed surge of energy overflowing over the brim... and how it affects their movement in the world. I am grateful that one of the five things that Jill Fallon shared was that she hid in the bakery basement she worked at once because of a stalker.
Oh, yes, this should have been front and center and in big bold letters in the last post too: "The whole human mechanism is just love incarnate, creativity incarnate." - Adyashanti
In my comments to the public comments in the last post, I write:
This post is not about ultimately about sexuality or power, but it is interesting that it is read that way.
It is however about energy, about life, about not resisting that surrender to Love. As the formless potentia manifests into energy and when it passes through the second chakra, yes it feels highly sexual. As it passes through the third, it feels powerful. Oh, why why stop there? Usually the energy is stopped cold right there in most individuals. So what I am writing about may be slightly foreign if it has not been directly experienced. Foreign, yet not unfamiliar, it is as primal to our essence as original bliss.
There are few women that have not had an eerie/scary experience of sexual abuse, rape or close-calls with date rape. I have a few of my own stories. All involve men I trusted, twice they were fatherly figures, but not family. The last time, I'd just gotten to Oaxaca from spending a workshop with Miguel Ruiz at Teotihuacan, the Mayan ruins known as 'the place where men go to become gods.' I was so open, vulnerable, and loving that I radiated that. It is a simple mistake to interpret that all-encompassing love as being directed specifically at anyone in particular. Anyhow, I was hanging out with one of the guys working at the hostel. Without going into details, I was extremely lucky to talk some sense into him as I was in a very precarious dilemma. I snuck out of the hostel before dawn even though I'd paid the length of my stay.
So, usually we take that experience, and women especially, we tell ourselves it is dangerous to be vulnerable, dangerous to be open, dangerous to be loving, dangerous to have anyone else in the world ever ever pick up that I am radiating joy and abundant overflowing love without end. Look what might happen, does happen. Because somewhere deep inside us, we knew we will also be vibrating something highly charged, highly erotic. Look up the etymology, it goes to Eros, the god of Love.
Truthfully, what happened in Oaxaca, was that I didn't trust it yet.
I was wary and I was already imagining that it wasn't wise to be traipsing through Mexico City by bus and then Oaxaca solo with that kind of openness. So it was a measured openness. The true openness knows no defense...who would you be defending against? Your own Self? But I was scared to walk that way in the real world. Still in many ways am, but I was totally there in April, May, June because I was in that blissful 'drunk on enlightenment' stage of my process.
The crux of the matter, is that energy, nope, it is not sexual. Yes, it is sexual too, but god that would be a travesty to constrain it to such a small fraction of its intensity. It is Life itself.
This is not a women-rule or a men-rule kind of blog. I am not into the thing about women being sexual slaves, yada yada. This power I speak about is not about women, not about men, not about you, not about I, it's bigger than that and you don't own it, cannot possibly possess it. Thankfully.
Yes, of course, many times this power scares the bejesus out of me...that's why I wrote this!...but that's when I fall into trap of thinking it's mine or I need to do something with It which is overwhelming because it is infinite. When I stop scaring myself, it's simple - it's just available. I don't need to contain it, understand it, manage it.
I know who "How Do Co-Dependent People Behave?" is. It's a 'friend' worried about my mental health. If I had a quarter for every man that thought I was losing it lately, ah....
Well, anyhow, have you ever noticed that men don't tell other men that they are over-sexed? I have been told I am over-sexed. Most quote over-sexed unquote men, now this is a hypothesis I'm testing, seem to be overmonied too. They are comfortable with this surge and they don't block it because it is not 'safe'.
Now, if I were to squash that energy and I MOST definitely have the first 37 years of my life, poof, my creativity would diminish, my power would diminish, my intuition would diminish, my vitality would diminish, my connection to Source would diminish. The sacral chakra is a vital lifeline. Blocking it to stay 'safe' is not the solution. That's called a very slow dying...
If one gets the impression that I sleep around, you've missed the WHOLE point. Once you let the energy rip through you (and it is a roller-coaster at first), it is really okay. Almost like a craving that just evaporates. You can have the chocolate-chip cookie dough ice cream, or leave it. But you aren't driven wild by the forbidden temptation of wanting ice cream, but forcing yourself not to want it. The allowance of the feeling unleashes the tension. And the choice is now coming more from a place of deeper quieter urge to connect, not a ravenous hunger.
And let's say if it is about sex:
"Sexual activity between two harmonious individuals who are of equal vibration and who have harmonious intent, can greatly accelerate the spiritual sensitivity of both. Each comes away from the encounter with a strong magnetic field which is a part of the partner with whom they have shared. In those who are monogamous in their relationship, and whom have remained firm in their commitment, we find that this is so strong that it is extremely beneficial and powerful as a pathway to spiritual growth. The light, simply put, becomes strong and pure. The subsequent incarnation will be one of great light because the entity carries this balance." - Lama Sing
See also this lovely post about sexuality & consciousness:
p.s. A good friend who knows what he's talking about recommended the book, "The Money Mirror: How Money Reflects Women's Dreams, Fears, Desires", for women. I think there is a huge connection between sexual hangups and money hangups, in my opinion.
images "Billowing Veil", 2002, by yes of course Jia Lu