Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't

Whether you're an entrepreneur, an artist, or just doing your own incarnation of a WoW! project, don't let criticism dishearten and discourage you from your objectives.

Yesterday I got yet another (not as vitriolic as some) remark related to my post-tsunami writing. I was upset for much too long (longer than two seconds is much too long).

The complaint was more or less why was I writing about X when clearly Y could use more money and attention. In the end, I didn't HAVE to do any of this writing. It always your perogative on where to put your own time, effort, and resources. It's a classic case of  "damned if you do, damned if you don't." (You can read it for yourself if you're that inclined.)

What strikes me is that the commenter left no actionable information such as: "I really encourage you to talk with Joe who lives in Y because he witnessed first-hand... and now he's building homes for survivors and here's his email and their website ...."

In the end, it's simply venting frustration...but so much more can be offered. So I was pleasantly surprised to see in my inbox....

Lisa Haneberg of Management Craft is running an excellent pilot program for her upcoming book, 2 Week 2 a Breakthrough (blog). In fact, when she offers this program again and if you're working on any project jump at the chance to do it.

In her daily private email today (I hope this is okay Lisa as it's so relevant and juicily outstanding advice):

There are 2 types of conversations - One the Court and In the Stands.
Think of a basketball court. There are players and spectators.

On the court conversations are aimed at making a difference. They are active. When we speak on the court we are players. [The example listed a conversation that encouraged a plan for brainstorming. Operative word: let's plan together, let's do something, here's a suggestion I'm willing to help with. Not just whining.]

In the stands conversations are water cooler conversations. They are directed “out there.” Example: “Until this company changes their ways and stops treating people like disposable resources, they will continue to lose great folks.”

No matter what project you're working on, you'll always get folks that throw you a bit off track. Don't let criticism wear you down, but also just importantily don't let the need for praise lure you astray either.

Here's a few more morsels of encouragement:

Fiction writer Ellen Gilchrist says there is next to “nothing the outside world gives me in exchange for my writing that is of value to me. I do not take pleasure in other people’s praise, and I don’t believe their criticism.” - Jeff Davis, The Journey from the Center to the Page

UPDATE (reposted thanks to better version via Cottontimer): Snippet from a poem Mother Teresa had hanging on a wall of the orphanage she founded in Calcutta:

Anyway

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

Comments

[Lisa Haneberg]

Evelyn: Feel free sharing the tidbits you think might be helpful to others! Often when we are stuck, we are "in the stands" and need to get "on the court."

[Cottontimer]

Evelyn, When you write such thought inspiring posts, there will always be people who disagree with you. I think most are just trying to engage you in conversation (or argument) because you're clearly someone who has interesting insights! Chin up. :)

BTW, the wording in the version of the poem you posted seems a little odd. I posted the version that seems to be more common and has better flow (http://www.livejournal.com/users/cottontimer/247589.html).

[Evelyn Rodriguez]

Thanks so much Lisa!

Cottontimer, Thanks for your kind words. Your version of the Mother Theresa poem is much clearer and closer to the now missing hard copy of the poem I have somewhere hidden in my bedroom.