Life's Too Short to Do Business With People You Don't REALLY Want To

"It's sure a small world," ends the PR professional at the tail-end of the New Communications Forum. "Let's stay in touch."

Unraveling the conversation I recall that after a brief mention of potentially looking forward to a travel agency customer service rant (and why do bloggers get more excited about sharing bad customer experiences over the good?), the whole tsunami experience comes up anew.

One thing leads to another and I piece together that Jeff Greenwald, whom is writing post-tsunami dispatches from Sri Lanka, is her friend (see also my very first post, and this recent one).

She's a private (artists create for its own intrinsic rewards, not the adulation of fans) travel writer and photographer. She knows the Wild Writing Women (I'm at their conference later today). She knows Backpack Nation. And more connections are made. So it's well...a very small world, indeed. We both share a passion for travel and writing and travel writing. Seeing her face ignite, I encourage her to post her travel journal entries into a personal blog - purely for self-expression, if nothing else.

Something inperceptible clicks. A bond is made.

The "It's a Small World" effect is the hallmark of friendship. Of Kindred Spirits. And it's not bad for sales either.

The best salespeople - I'm not talking the slick fast-taking ones - I mean superb master salespeople genuinely love getting to know people. (Calvin is the quintessential salesperson. Truly.) They are fascinated by the unique qualities of each person they encounter.

If you've ever done business outside of the United States, you know that personal relationships are de riguer. Nothing is rushed - sit back in that Italian chair and have another glass of vino - we have to get to know each other first before money comes into the picture. And I'm at a distinct disadvantage if my competitor has known you since they helped you bandage your scraped knee riding your first bicycle to the alpine village elementary school you both attended. Long deep relationships are fundamentally about trust. And it's about like-mindedness and ease. I like you. We do business someday perhaps because life's too short to work with people you don't really want to. Simple.

Business is simpler than I even realize some days. Blogging really is too.

I think it's important to get to know the people you are doing business with. - Lenn Pryor, also known as Microsoft's top blogger's boss

The fact is I simply don't have time to sit down to a two-hour siesta with each person I'd love to get to know better - and manage time to sleep, eat, and bathe. (I'm sure I'm leaving out something vital  from the list- no not email, more like breathe.) The blog is the absolute closest thing to "being there" face-to-face I know of - if you can't sit down to coffee with me, or share a few drinks at the pub (I've never been a golfer, so swinging some clubs around is definitely out), then read my blog. I dread the day I might not have time to even read every piece of personal email or something horrid like that.

I worked for a CEO for six months and had my share of one-on-ones (something many employees never ever get a chance to do as companies grow). I'm not engaged in any project right now, but I feel I've gotten a better sense of Biri and what he thinks and what's important to him that I wasn't aware of since he started blogging. No one's time ever scales quite well enough - particularly busy executives'.

For all the global reach of the Web, I've never been hired in the last 13 years - permanent or contract - without a previous referral - it was 100% about someone I knew in the face-to-face world. But that's changing for me already with my blog. Folks do hire solely by your blog. A website simply doesn't cut it - it's like playing consultant roulette.

Not a services firm - doesn't apply? I'm a product person at heart, trust me. (Consulting is excrutiating painful in its non-scalability to me.) I've gone to the trade shows. I've seen your competitors. All of you happen to be the recognized world class leader expert authority in [insert your carefully crafted jargon here] excellence. Pretty much verbatim copies of each other's press releases too. And it's all more or less strikes one as the same widget on the shelf too if you ask the passersby, not the industry insiders (and we could have told you that - that is, had you asked us). Ah, yes, the colors are different in your logo and it's a bit more stylistic than theirs (and you think that is your brand).

A blog is a collection of digital content that when examined over a period of time exposes the intellectual soul of its author or authors. - Biz Stone, Who Let the Blogs Out? (via 800-CEO-READ)

(I'd strike out the intellectual - it's extraneous.)

So many folks are looking for overnight quantifiable measurable payback from their blogging efforts. The self-expression and more nuanced payback is practically immediate in time compared to the commercial return. I know people personally that have steady business today because of their childhood buddy in a small town in Europe. Same goes for Asia, or you name the continent. You have your own story, I'm sure, too. What's the ROI of a lifelong friendship? Dunno, I guess I'm just not that good at math.

Comments

[Jon Husband]

So many folks are looking for overnight quantifiable measurable payback from their blogging efforts. The self-expression and more nuanced payback is practically immediate in time compared to the commercial return.

Absolutely spot-on ... and the most valuable, and hence least quantifiable ROI (return on involvement ?)

[Steven Pearce]

"Something imperceptible clicks." You're dead right that patience in relationship building pays off.

How many kindred spirits fail to click because our instinct is often to differentiate ("You're richer/poorer/fatter/thinner/brighter/dimmer/louder/quieter..." etc than me) rather than wait, wait, wait until common ground emerges, as it surely will?

[Toby]

Evelyn -

You are so right about the cultures of doing business. When I moved from Boston to Atlanta it took awhile to "get" that before talking shop one had to accept a coffee or a Coke, talk sports, the weather and life in-general. Getting to know each other was as important to the project as the work itself.

Toby

[Jon Husband]

(I'd strike out the intellectual - it's extraneous.)

You sure ? Some blogs (or I suppose their authors) strike me as lacking in soul, though clearly well-fitted-out with some forms of intellect. Probably me included, tho' it's always so hard to tell when looking at yourself online.

[Evelyn Rodriguez]

Jon,
We're in violent agreement ;-)

I meant it that Biz Stone's sentence would be better as:

A blog is a collection of digital content that when examined over a period of time exposes the soul of its author or authors.