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Dec 31, 2004

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~laurent

sorry, I'm leaving in Paris ... and I've not the phone number of santa claus to fly and install the router.
Next year may be ;)

Happy new year :)

~laurent

I'm standing at the crossroads
There are many roads to take
But I stand here so silently
For fear of a mistake
One road leads to paradise
One road leads to pain
One road leads to freedom
But they all look the same.

Take "Crossroads Dispatches" ... no mistakes :)

Dave

Evelyn,
You are self-centered, self-pitying and grandiose.

Janette

If we lived closer I'd have my husband there in a heartbeat to take care of the router for you. I'm glad to hear you've taking it easy.

I hope you have a great New Year!

Janette

Dave

Laurent,
Stay on the road you are on.

~laurent

Happy new year (2005 star now in France) Evelyne.

Some times you have see death in the eyes to wake up and breath deeply.

Thanks dave. In fact I'm leaving Paris to start a new life in Casablanca (this road leads to paradise;). Casabanca and morocco looks like California and you are welcome :)

PapaGus

~laurent must be one of those exceedingly rare people who has never faced the hardships life thrusts upon us from time to time. We all know that in the advent of any disaster our emotions run the gamut from depression/despondency to a nearly frenetic giddy exhuberance of having made it through.

Evelyn, you most certainly deserve to be "self pitying, self-centered, and gradiose" because I see all the other emotions in your postings - relief, caring, rationality, sadness, etc. You would be less than human were it not so. Take care of yourself, because soon I see you taking care of others less fortunate.

Pax vobiscum

PapaGus

My apologies - I misread the post from Dave, attributing it to ~laurent.

Evelyn Rodriguez

PapaGus - You are a very wise man. I readily admitted that there were times I felt self-pity and probably everything Dave accused me of. You'd probably not be surprised to see some of the ways stress and fear are being displayed by survivors - even those relatively unscathed. The gamut of emotions had been mind-boggling - even meditation practice (shows I need MUCH more training) is out the window as I can't stay still and I can't sleep at night thinking about people I have yet to hear about.

Dave - I believe you are making reference to the San Jose Mercury News article in particular. I haven't seen the paper - can't drive to pick up a copy, so I don't know if they said anything particularly alarming in the captions to the photos. I've only read online.

But no story written by a third person will capture everything I said in my own words and that is why I'm trying to use the blog for.

I am trying to use the newsworthiness of this situation to draw attention to some more important issues - things like what's ultimately important in life and to bring the story of the survivors closer to home so that disaster relief (I hear the "we have so many worthy causes at home" chorus) is funded, and more. If you really think this is all about me, you are misunderstanding that I'm just playing the press game - perhaps I'm not playing all that well, but it got you to my site. And that's the first step. My real agenda is getting you to take spend more time with your family, re-evaluate your life mission, spend less effort collecting trinkets that can easily be washed away, and to allow your heart to meet those in a distant land and feel moved to donate to help in their support. The Thai people have been incredibly generous even as they have their own troubles and I would like to return the favor. If anything I say moves you to action, then I will have succeeded. It doesn't really matter to me what you think of me.

PapaGus

I was a Volunteer Fireman in Nevada for some years - with EMT/First Response training - and the total estrangement, horror, guilt (and I never understood that feeling) and sense in helplessness in the face of death on a small scale was traumatic to me. I cannot begin to fathom the depth of your feelings upon seeing the tangled bodies of thousands upon thousands of people who lost their lives in such a short time. I would literally weep at the death of one child whose life I could not save - but to see hundreds would tear the heart out of my chest. The fact that you are bearing up under the weight of this is testimony to your strength, strength I imagine you did not know you had.

I would urge you to seek someone to whom you can eventually pour out your soul, because I think at this time, you are still numb, and you will need someone to help you find the strength to bear up even more than you are now.

Peace, Evelyn.

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