Companies, Brands and the Role of Allies in Our Lives

Now this is the kind of testimonial that stirs something in me. I read this in the Outsource-Proof Your Career webinar (event archive, my note highlights) when one attendee wrote (verbatim) in the public question/comments area:

You have really moved me from self-pity to beginning to re-imagine how I could follow Dan's steps to the 6 abilities. Thank you!

While I was on my somewhat self-imposed clarity quest (new readers: after the start-up imploded followed by divorce I took 2 years out to figure out what I wanted to do with rest of my life). Financially it was shaky; it was the first time ever that it actually made a difference if I balanced my checkbook or not.

The first time went to an ATM (more than 50 miles away from home) and saw I only had $14 left in the bank - and of course, the minimum is $20 to withdraw money - I took it in stride. I'm pretty resourceful and low-maintenance. At that time, I was still sure the next big thing was waiting around the corner for me.

What started out as concern and compassion, especially from my family and the closest of friends, eventually over time resembled something more akin to pity. I myself was mostly if not consistently positive. I faltered when I had to scramble to pay a bill and often fell into a "poor me" funk for a short period.

While it was ok for me to succumb to my own victimhood once in a while - and it was all part of the internal conflict that eventually resulted in a reservoir of personal strength - I started realizing something else.

There was one too many times a family member would 'insist' on paying for lunch or they dropped the hint that I didn't need to come with a wedding gift. It had gone beyond concern.

It hit me.

"Wow, they don't believe in me." Their vision of me was as a destitute - they didn't mean to but it was hard for them to shake off that image of me scraping to pay my bills. Somewhere along the way they must have forgotten what I was capable of.

We are each undergoing our own hero(ine)'s journey in our life. I had a tough time explaining what I was up to from March 2002 through 2004, but this snippet captures it pretty well:

“Rich dad [Kiyosaki's mentor since he was 9, not his actual dad] was always more interested in what character I chose to become rather than the profession I chose. During this period of time, the two characters I had to choose between were the wimp and the warrior. After facing the real world with nothing, for about two weeks, the wimp in me was winning. Then one day, the warrior won and I felt good for a whole day…then the wimp took over again. By the fourth week, the battle was tied. I was a wimp for half the time and a warrior the other half. That is when things finally began to change. Life began to change once I was comfortable with my status of being a person with no money, no job, and no professional status. In other words, I was becoming comfortable with being a nobody. I was no longer a kid, a student, a ship’s officer, a military pilot, or an entrepreneur. I had nothing and I kind of liked it. It wasn’t that bad. I was facing nothing with nothing…and the more I could do that, the more the warrior inside of me was growing stronger. One of the reasons I turned down the possibility of the job as national sales manager was because I was in the middle of my own personal experiment and I simply wanted to find out which character would win.” -- Rich Dad's Prophecy, by Robert Kiyosaki

I write this because of Hugh's post yesterday on human potential and brands.

And I write this post because of something that is going on with a dear friend right now. I realized I had faltered in my role as a friend (if you haven't read my Friends of the Wee Voice post, it's a piece I ought to read and re-read myself). And I write this because it is probably going on in a relationship somewhere else out there. Business is so much about relationships.

At first, commiseration and compassion are needed, but be careful. It's a slippery slope to pity. I have felt my own friend's pain and suffering for a while. I want to obliterate it. I sunk into dwelling there with him instead of seeing his potential and mirroring that aspect back to him. Ah, and this is the friend that always knows I'll come through and reflects that knowing with complete assurance when I myself am lost.

We need other people to hold steady a vision of the highest version of ourselves, even if we ourselves falter in sustaining that vision or have stopped believing it ourselves.

Even Mr. Seth "Safe is Risky" Godin credits a book for turning on a light on within him (via Thinking by Peter Davidson).

Mr. Godin read the [The Republic of Tea] book in one sitting, saying it taught him what all good business books teach: the importance of "guts."

The NYT article continues to outline what Seth defines as a good business book.

The second [category] are the ones that can "open horizons for people, books that announce 'I'm going to say something to you that when you hear it, you realize it makes perfect sense. You don't have to trust who I am or what I've done. You will feel the confidence to do that thing,''' he said.

Peter adds: Now we know a little something about why Seth's books are such calls to personal action.

When I saw the globalization issue with glum faces of people who've lost jobs plastered on the cover of Fast Company. Well, that was it for me. (I mention FC because I just given them quite a bit of thought lately.)

I had that familiar feeling.

"Oh. They've given up on us. They don't think we can pull through on our own, do they?"

Maybe it's too much to ask a company to treat its customers as friends. But I need friends that see my highest potential through thick-and-thin.

I've said: "A brand is a story. And the customer puts him or herself in the role of the hero or heroine."

Mythologists, notably Joseph Campbell, tell us that every experience of life can be seen as a hero's journey: The challenges the hero faces, the forces of good and evil, the resolution, are similar - often amazingly so - across time, place and culture. Fairy tales, legends, myths, movies, tales of all sorts, follow this archetypal story line: Innocent (or at least naive) hero answers a call to venture out of innocence and is initiated into situation fraught with danger. With the help of allies, hero meets challenge and returns home triumphant....These same hero's journeys occur over and over again in your life, too. - The Highest Goal, by Michael Ray (Stanford business school professor whom teaches a Personal Creativity in Business course)

I don't know about you, but I want to surround myself with people - that includes collectives of people and companies - that are my allies and not mumbling under their breath: oh, the poor dear will just never make it. So while a company may never be my best buddy per se, the companies that click for me will be my ally.

I think you'll be seeing less and less marketing and advertising that makes us feel less-than and much more that pulls us up. And that damn well acknowledges we're more-than - more than we've even imagined.

Ever since eBay, I've been inspired by people discovering their own power, and believed that every individual can make a difference. -- Pierre Omidyar's blog, founder of eBay (via Buzzmachine)

Comments

[tim boucher]

hey! i like your blog. oddly enough, the last and only other time i saw it was that thing about a brand being a story. funny that the next time i visit, you mention that again. anyway, keep on keepin on

[cynthia]

i don't have much to say about the branding stuff, but in terms of "positivity" i want to say that there must always be a space for grief in life, and grief is not "succumbing to victimhood." looking at pain in that way runs the risk of turning positivity into a tool of suppression and oppression.